Helping Your Child Who Is Overweight

Weight management goals for your child who is overweight

Your job is to offer nutritious food choices at meals and snack times. You decide what, where, and when your family eats. Your child's job is to choose how much he or she will eat of the foods you serve. Your child even gets to decide whether to eat.

Do not restrict food. Food restriction causes children to ignore their internal hunger gauges. Children who have their food restricted often end up heavier, because they become anxious about food and eating. Anxiety about not getting enough to eat will often lead a child to overeat whenever he or she gets a chance. This causes the child to become less in touch with how hungry or full he or she is, and the child becomes more likely to eat more than his or her body needs. This can also happen when children or teens follow weight-loss diets. It doesn't work to put a child on a diet—you get the opposite effect.

Pay attention to behaviors that may be adding to weight gain, and then work to correct them. Then trust that your child will end up at the weight that is right for him or her.

If you are concerned about your child's weight, talk to your child's doctor. He or she can tell you if your child is gaining weight too quickly and can give you steps to take to help your child have a healthy weight.

How you can help your child

As a parent, your job is to give your child the tools for a healthy lifestyle and remain as relaxed as possible about the result.

To help your child eat well, use the same healthy eating approach with everyone in your family:

• Eat together as a family as much as possible. The entire family, regardless of each family member's weight, should be offered the same food choices at meals.
• Choose water instead of sugary drinks, such as sport drinks, soft drinks, fruit juices, and fruit-flavored drinks. For some kids, cutting back on sugary drinks makes a big difference in balancing the calories that they take in and burn off.
• Remember that all foods, even less nutritious foods in small amounts, can fit into a healthy diet. Do not make any food item completely off limits. This may increase the desire for the forbidden food and can lead children to overeat when they get the chance.
• Avoid power strugglesAvoid power struggles over food. Your job is to provide healthy choices at specific snack and mealtimes. It's your child's job to choose to eat or not eat.
• Have a regular meal and snack routine instead of snacking throughout the day. Schedule snacks for when your child is most hungry, such as after school or exercise.
• Offer nutritious food choices.
• Keep foods moderate in calories to help your child avoid getting too many calories. But don't make meals so low-calorie that your child can't feel full.
• Avoid using food as a reward, whether for an achievement or for "eating all your green beans." (The "nutritious food, then dessert" tactic makes the healthier food seem like a less desirable food.)
• Serve dessert as part of the meal to avoid the "dessert struggle." Offer healthier desserts, such as yogurt and fruit, more often than rich desserts. When you serve a rich dessert, it's okay to set out a single portion for each person.

To help your child develop a balance between the calories he or she takes in and burns off:

• Shift the focus away from pounds and toward a healthy lifestyle by avoiding weighing your child every day. Think about not even using the bathroom scale.
• Move moreMove more. Make fun physical activity a part of your family's daily life.
• Keep total TV and computer "screen time" to 2 or fewer hours a day.^{footnote 1footnote 1} Encourage outdoor play as often as possible. Children should have at least 1 hour of moderate to vigorous activity each day.

As for any child with health concerns, make sure your child has all of the well-child checkupswell-child checkups and treatment that your doctor recommends.

Helping your child with social and emotional concerns

It doesn't take long for children to figure out that our culture and their peers idealize thinness. Children who are overweight are especially at risk of being teased and feeling alone. This can cause low self-esteem and depressiondepression.

To help your child have greater health, confidence, and self-esteem, you can:

• Avoid talking in terms of your child's weight. How you talk about your child's body has a big impact on your child's self-image. Instead, talk in terms of your child's health, activity level, and other healthy lifestyle choices.
• Be a good role model by having a healthy attitude about food and activity. Even if you struggle with how you feel about your own body, avoid talk in front of your child about "being fat" and "needing to diet." Instead, talk about and make the same healthy lifestyle choices you'd like for your child.
• Encourage activities, such as sports and theater. Physical activity helps build physical and emotional confidence. Try different types of sports and activities until your child finds one that he or she likes. Theater can help a child project strength and confidence, even if he or she doesn't feel it at first.
• Encourage social involvement in community, church, and school activities, which build social skills and confidence.
• Help your child eat well by providing healthy food choices. Consider seeing a registered dietitianregistered dietitian for guidance and new food ideas.
• Forbid any child (yours included) to tease another child about weight. Talk to your child's teachers and/or counselors, if necessary.